sheets over my head

i could spend hours in bed in the morning listening to music-relatable songs-and remembering good things. you know, it's like when you made forts with blankets and chairs when you were young...a little hideaway for dreaming of dreams coming true and all that good stuff...with the sun shining through the cracks in the window coverings...and the fan is on and the temperature is just right. it's so nice.

it's avocado season on the island

it takes three of the avocadoes we get in the staes to equal a small jamaican one.
they are so good it's ridiculous.

i think i swallowed a lemon seed.

music and pictures make my heart feel all magical inside.
i miss people.
and i mean american ones this time.

phone calls and dear friends.

ktwood
billygratza

two people i love and miss
and a long evening of laying on the ground outside my house with my cellphone.

it's not like i've been to the zoo lately.

i saw this headline and it made me sad:
"Jenny, the oldest gorilla in captivity, dies"

Jenny, a Western Lowland Gorilla and the world's oldest captive gorilla, celebrates her 55th birthday at the Dallas Zoo in a Thursday, May 8, 2008 file photo. Jenny has died at her home in the Dallas Zoo, a spokesman said Friday, Sept. 5, 2008. (AP Photo/Tony Gutierrez, File)

in no particular order...i haven't looked at these oldies in a while! all matthew

then and now. haha

these two pictures are from march after being home from surgery and the month stay at the hospital and august the next to last day i saw him. in the one from march, it was one week after surgery/hospital/near death stuff. in the one from august, he had been to the doctor and hospital the day before and was still feeling sick with fever, ear infection, dry skin/chapped lips, dehydrated and so on...anyways. yeah.

don't you just love it when

you write something and then it goes away.
that happened to me today.
but i guess that's good because then he would have known.
and don't you love it when the only one trying to talk to you is the very one you wish wasn't in your life?
i don't do well with sarcasm. i don't do well with a cold heart but that's what mine is like sometimes. too bad.

don't read into this, cuz there's really nothing to it. i want to type, and think without really thinking about what's really on my mind. so some sort of meanlessness shows up here and i wont remember it later, but i don't mind. it's okay.

your voice melts right through me until i'm undone and all i care to do is melt right into you...keep listening...i can't listen to you becaues the moment i do that's the end of me. and i could, would fly so much better with you. and so i should. wings. laughter. music. notenoughtime.
'he' should come to portland with 'us' in two or three years.

somebody said, i urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'if this isn't nice, i don't know what is.'

don't ask because i sure wont tell.
what else can i say for now?
i'm still disappointed i lost what i wrote in the afternoon.
i should write my essay for political science class. a formatted essay on personal values?! that doesn't make sense to me...for some reason.