do i have to beg?

gosh. i think i just must be lonely tonight.
it's my last night being twenty five.
crazy.
crazy that i'm going to be 26 and crazy to think where my life was at last year at this time.
bittersweet nostalgia and a one song flop of a danceparty with my sister
just cuz she didn't want to get sweaty.
anti climatic and hurt my feelings.
[but it was SUPER FUN nonetheless]
i cried like a big dumb baby.
my big heart makes me so tired sometimes. it's just ridiculous.

sheets over my head

i could spend hours in bed in the morning listening to music-relatable songs-and remembering good things. you know, it's like when you made forts with blankets and chairs when you were young...a little hideaway for dreaming of dreams coming true and all that good stuff...with the sun shining through the cracks in the window coverings...and the fan is on and the temperature is just right. it's so nice.

it's avocado season on the island

it takes three of the avocadoes we get in the staes to equal a small jamaican one.
they are so good it's ridiculous.

i think i swallowed a lemon seed.

music and pictures make my heart feel all magical inside.
i miss people.
and i mean american ones this time.

phone calls and dear friends.

ktwood
billygratza

two people i love and miss
and a long evening of laying on the ground outside my house with my cellphone.

it's not like i've been to the zoo lately.

i saw this headline and it made me sad:
"Jenny, the oldest gorilla in captivity, dies"

Jenny, a Western Lowland Gorilla and the world's oldest captive gorilla, celebrates her 55th birthday at the Dallas Zoo in a Thursday, May 8, 2008 file photo. Jenny has died at her home in the Dallas Zoo, a spokesman said Friday, Sept. 5, 2008. (AP Photo/Tony Gutierrez, File)

in no particular order...i haven't looked at these oldies in a while! all matthew

then and now. haha

these two pictures are from march after being home from surgery and the month stay at the hospital and august the next to last day i saw him. in the one from march, it was one week after surgery/hospital/near death stuff. in the one from august, he had been to the doctor and hospital the day before and was still feeling sick with fever, ear infection, dry skin/chapped lips, dehydrated and so on...anyways. yeah.